"It takes 15,000 nuts to hold a car together, but only one to spread it all over the highway."

"Violence is a tool of the ignorant."

"What you see is what you get."

"Funny is an attitude."

"You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine."

"The devil made me do it."

"Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason."

"The people who oppose your ideas the most are those who represent the establishment that your ideas will upset."

"Don't let the sun go down upon your anger; forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow."

"I call that a scumhead."

"California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death."

"Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood."