"Life? Don't talk to me about life!"

"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so."

"There is a particular disdain with which Siamese cats regard you. Anyone who has walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will be familiar with the feeling."

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

"This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark."

"Put your shoulder to the wheel."

"It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am."

"To fall in love you have to be in the state of mind for it to take, like a disease."

"He who feels no compassion will become insane."

"One crowded hour of glorious life is worth an age without a name."

"In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man."