"It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it."

"If you are prepared, then you are able to feel confident."

"Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today. But if you ask for a raise it's no surprise that they're giving none away."

"Humor, you can't exist without it. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Otherwise you suffer."

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin."

"I'm a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself from lawsuits."

"To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy"

"A different language is a different vision of life."

"We feel free when we escape -- even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire."

"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

"If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up."

"Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."