"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"PYRRHONISM, n. An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that."

"Today, people in Baghdad can watch themselves being bombed - what a horrible, magical world we live in!"

"It is impossible to enjoy idling unless there is plenty of work to do."

"Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose."

"An nescis mi fili, quantilla prudentia regitur orbis? Dost thou not know, my son, with what little wisdom the world is governed?"

"Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards."