"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"

"Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic."

"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world."

"Character is who you are when no one is looking."

"Blood is inherited and virtue is acquired."

"The vision of a champion is someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching."

"I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother."

"There was a young woman named Jenny, Whose limericks weren't worth a penny. Her rhythm and rhyme Were perfectly fine But whenever she tried to write any, She always had one line too many."

"Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?"

"You cram these words into mine ears against the stomach of my sense."